That’s right. You deserve it!

I’ll never forget the shock I felt when my client walked into my office, livid about those 3 simple words. I was in my “bridge career,” the gig that helped me let go of dentistry but wasn’t my new forever. I was a weight loss coach, and the program I taught required daily food journaling. In addition to the food and water tracking, it had fields that allowed you to gauge your emotions.

In the corner of every page it cheerfully said, “Because you deserve it!”

I always thought it meant that you are worthy enough that you deserve to take care of yourself. How nice that the program creators knew the importance of self-worth and self-esteem.

I was shocked when my client walked in so angry that day. She’d had a difficult food week and struggled to stick with the plan. It was important to her, but she just couldn’t beat her cravings. On top of feelings of failure, she needed somewhere to direct her anger, and that was the program.

I had a horrible week, and this journal tells me I deserved it?!?! How could these people be so insensitive and rude?

That instant opened my eyes to something new. I never thought it could mean what she thought. We were living in two separate truths, and I realized that “you deserve it” means what you think it means in any given moment.

I put that story in the back of my mind, and it wasn’t until recently that this phrase took on new meaning for me.

For years, I unconsciously put everything and everyone else before myself. I was a good dentist. People liked me because I did everything to make sure they won. I always tried to agree that the patient– ahem– the customer is always right. I stayed silent when my assistant did something “wrong” to keep her happy. I gave my extra time to serve on the CE committee for my local dental society. In some ways, helping others always win served me well too. It gave me a successful career, a lot of praise, and on paper everything was great.

During practice, I didn’t realize how much I sacrificed myself and my personal boundaries to have that success. The worst part was the emotional toll. Not only was I physically giving my precious time and energy to everyone else, but mentally and emotionally I was carrying everyone else’s experiences—including their burdens—on my shoulders. That made it exponentially heavier.

It wasn’t sustainable, but it was how I proved that I was a good dentist, a good friend, and a good person. It was all I knew. While I didn’t fully understand this dynamic at the time, the pain drove me to change.

I never could have changed my external circumstances without making the inside changes.

And I became a new, much happier and self-realized person who loved my work.

Years later, that same old pattern resurfaced. It was a little sneakier this time because now I could genuinely feel the joy of winning alongside my coaching clients. Beyond my coaching business, there were so many things I wanted to do with my life, but I kept delaying. I delayed investing in fun coaching CE and instead focused on checking off my business task list. The fun stuff would come later. I wanted to invest in personal travel again, but I had so many dental events on the calendar that there was no space for it. I craved more personal growth of my own. I put that off too, telling myself I didn’t have the time and would waste the investment.

Seeing myself as a priority fell back on the idea of someday, and once again, it became too much. I was getting dragged down by the old patterns I thought were gone, and I was burning myself out again for the sake of duty and obligation!

That became my latest wake-up call, and I finally decided it was my turn. I invested in my dream programs and in a personal coach— not a business coach— again.

After some renewed, deep soul-searching, that was when it hit me: All these years, I didn’t believe I deserved it.

I couldn’t see it until I actually saw it. I unknowingly believed I needed to prove my worth through achieving and serving others, through creating content that would inspire others, and by earning money to gauge my worth.

Sound familiar?

You might not see it, just like I didn’t. But what if the packed schedule, the constant striving, the endless serving are all ways of avoiding one uncomfortable truth? What if you don’t feel like you deserve time, money, or attention for yourself? Period. What if you believe you need proof or accolades to deserve your best life?

When you start to see this, you can’t unsee it. It’s can be the greatest gift because it gives you that next layer of permission. You get permission to pause, to stop striving, and to reflect on who you really are and what you want. You finally get to the heart of why you deserve to invest in– and to sometimes treat yourself.

What are you still telling yourself has to wait?

Maybe you’re procrastinating hiring a coach to help you. Or you can’t get yourself to take a staycation just because. Maybe coming to Portugal with me is your ultimate dream, but you think you have too many other obligations that come first.

Let it be your turn. Because You Deserve It.