Thanks so much! I always knew I’d have more than one career. It just seemed like life would be more interesting and exciting that way. Or maybe it’s because I didn’t like the first one. 😉

Eric, thanks! If more of us can get used to the idea that we can still survive and still be happy living with less, we will become more empowered to change. I felt much more worried about money when I was making more of it in dentistry than I do now when I make less and am happier in life. It’s all just a state of mind!

I completely agree with #2. When you love something (or even like it,) you’re willing to invest in it and stand behind it. When you’re not, you don’t, and it feeds itself.

And of course, yes on #3. I believe that sometimes the attitude change comes after because we can’t see to change it while we are still in a rough spot.

I know! I think a lot of these health service industries are all the same!

Ritu, I believe that this “something is wrong with you” mentality is a product of both the idea that we should stick with the same thing for 50 years as well as the betrayal. In my observations the betrayal seems to be stronger. I don’t know what it is about people in general, but it seems we have this pack mentality. I get the concept that when I love something, I want other people to love it too. I suspect we can all relate to that. I believe that is the root of this. When we love something, we can’t understand that someone else doesn’t, and sometimes we even judge others for it. I don’t know… just my hunch.

All great points you make. It’s all related.

Just some thoughts I had:

1. Fairly soon I will be needing to purchase a new car (no, this is not the type of life change I’m talking about above!). The point is, there is a certain car I like. It is far below the level of anything that would be considered a “luxury car”. But I like the appearance, the gas mileage, and the low price. Simple as that — it’s what I like. Is there something wrong with me because I DON’T like or want the luxury car?? Even if both cars were of equal price, my choice would still be the same, because I know what I like and don’t like.

Am I supposed to like dentistry because I spent a ton of money and time and effort to obtain my degree? Am I not allowed to change my mind after working in the field after a few — or many — years? Am I expected to try to convnce myself that it is my fault because I don’t like something? Are we all supposed to be driving the exact same car? What if I move into the city and decide I don’t need or want to drive anymore? But there must be something wrong wih me since I spent many hours and much effort in order to obtain that highly-touted Driver’s License so many years ago!

2. I tend to believe that the amount of challenges (annoyances, set-backs) a person is willing to put up with in their career (or pursuit of something) depends on how much that person loves what they are doing. The less a person like something, the less they are willing to put up with. It’s a pretty elementary concept. Now that I have left dentistry, I am beginning to pursue something that has a ton of challenges, rejections, and uncertainties. I won’t even have an income from it, at first. But I absolutely LOVE it, and because of that, am willing to face and deal with all of the struggles that will inevitably come. Even though I consider myself to have provided excellent dental treatment to patients, I never felt the passion for it as I do for this new venture. So there was nothing “wrong” with me when I was practicing dentistry but didn’t immerse myself in a myriad of courses to supposedly improve my range of skills. It was not a fault of mine. It just happened to be based on how much I wanted to push myself deeper into something I didn’t have a love affair with.

3. Yes, the two women you described were very wise. And there definitely is truth to the sentiment which is the title of this post. I have known people who have moved to different locations in the country because they “couldn’t have a lasting relationship”, “or couldn’t find any decent people to date”, etc., if they stayed in the same place. Funny, their problems seemed to follow them, no matter what their address was. So it is a valid point that a person take a good look inside of themselves to see why they want a career change. And yes, the answer may be that there needs to be a change in attitude prior to changing a career or direction, so as not to repeat earlier mistakes. But sometimes it is simply just a case of not liking something enough to stick with it. And that’s perfectly fine. I think that most often it is a combination of the two.

Mark, thanks, as always!! That fear is always much worse than reality is, and it is definitely what keeps us stuck.

So happy to hear this. 🙂

Sometimes I can’t tell whether the “something is wrong with you” comments are a throwback to the lost era of doing the same thing for 50 years, or if it’s resistance in accepting not everyone loves what you love, which is somehow construed as a personal betrayal?

While I have varied theories on what ‘love’ in your career actually means, it is true – wherever you go, there you are. I frankly reject this idea of business and personal being unrelated, or purely a matter of mustering enough will power, as if your mental and emotional well being has nothing to do with your professional success. But you/me/all of us have this incredible capacity to change and evolve over time, and we do. We must.

Some people just choose to be proactive about it.