Thank you U and U! I hope you see that you are not alone. There is nothing wrong with you! Dentistry is hard, and it can change us in ways we never think it could. If you could do dental school and therefore dentistry, you can do anything!! This will take an undoing of the old mental patterns and a rebirth of new thoughts and beliefs that will help you rebuild yourself back up. I do have a coaching program that helps specifically with this, so I want you to know that there is very unique guidance available catered exactly to what you’re experiencing and that will help with deciding how to build your career.

Papa medic, I help other dental professionals design their careers on their terms!

Oh man, I know how hard it is to feel like you’re at your limit. Remember that you have so many job skills. You run that office! Dentistry can really chip away at our self-confidence and make us think that we we have no other skills. Are you on FB? If so, you should join my FB group called Dentist Side Gigs. It’s for all dental professionals. https://www.facebook.com/groups/dentistsidegigs

Medieval minds think medieval thoughts.

This made me really think about the differences between medicine and dentistry. I look back at my dental career — I went through the exact same things you did. Part of the problem may stem from the way we were taught in dental school — a topic you’ve touched on several times before. I don’t need to go through the details of that (since you’ve written some excellent columns on that issue), but there seems to be kind of a self-perpetuating destructive prophecy in dentistry… and I’m not quite sure how to stop it.

These are generalizations, but I have found that in many cases, they ring true:

1. Patients don’t expect to wait more than 10 minutes in the waiting room. Twenty minutes is way too long — they start getting annoyed and ask when they will be seen. Yet they will wait for their physician in the waiting room for 30 minutes, and then sit alone in the examination room for another 20 minutes, and not say a word.
2. Dental patients expect perfection. Never mind that there are a thousand variables when attempting to precisely use highly technique-sensitive materials in the oral cavity. (“It’s just a filling, after all!”).
3. Physicians will often try an initial course of treatment, then re-evaluate and alter their plan if conditions don’t seem to improve. Dentists are often perceived as “failing” if the initial treatment doesn’t work exactly as the patient expects.

These are just three that came to mind right now — I know there are others. The point is, dentists are often regarded as “mechanics of the mouth.” (NO offense meant to auto mechanics, because I have the utmost respect for them… there is no way I could ever do their job). So when things don’t turn out as planned, the person performing the “repair” must be incompetent.

All of this creates a destructive environment in which to live and work.

Of course, there is a wide spectrum of dentists and physicians, ranging from ones who do excellent work to those who really should not be practicing. I am talking more about the largest group in the middle — and how patients’ perceptions of physicians and dentists are so different.

Some additional random thoughts:

1. My GI physician once asked me what the dentist usually is doing prior to coming into the hygienist’s operatory to perform an exam. He couldn’t fathom the idea that the dentist often had to interrupt a procedure he or she was performing on a patient, and then switch gears to do an exam on someone else. (Unfortunately, that is the way most practices are set up).
2. When I was involved in Dental Sleep Medicine for a few years, the mindset was different — for me and the patient. There was no expectation of perfection — often it was a process of evaluation and re-evaluation… many times over. We would work together to reach a positive outcome. And there was a charge for each visit — There were very few “free adjustments” on an appliance. Perhaps in their mind, it put more value on the procedure. They often we were incredibly appreciative of the entire process.
3. When I was treated by my dermatologist many years ago, I asked him about the prognosis of my condition (nothing serious). He gave me an honest ball-park figure. He said that was the best he could do, since it is “your body and biology we are dealing with. Nothing is 100% predictable”. I could appreciate that. I rarely found myself able to tell a dental patient anything of the sort.

I don’t pretend to have any answers here, but am just throwing some thoughts. I can’t help but feel that dentistry has evolved into a profession held in a completely different regard than medicine, when it comes to the practitioner/patient relationship … to its detriment. And maybe that will help explain the reason for many of the emotions we have, or are currently, experiencing.

But never give up… there is always a path to change!

Ugh, sorry you’re feeling that way. It’s so hard– especially when you’ve invested so much in this career. Remember that you are not alone. A lot of people feel similarly, and you can design your life and career on your terms.